Inside the mind of people lives an insidious and destructive force. This force has the capability of destroying dreams, fueling addiction and wrecking relationships.
This force isn’t a terrorist. It’s not the state of the economy. It’s not a biological disease.
No. This worm of destruction is the critical voice.
This may be the voice of a parent, a teacher, a partner or a coach.
It may be the voice of the person herself.
The voice is strident and authoritative.
The voice is critical.
It shouts at her when she looks in the mirror telling her she’s fat and that no one will love her.
It whispers to her at social events reminder her that she has nothing of interest to say.
It attacks her basic value as a human being in ways large and small.
Criticism directed towards her at work by her boss reinforces the inner monologue of worthlessness.
She gets smaller.
Like a turtle she retreats inside an invisible protective shell.
The society in which she exists is filled with subtle and not so subtle criticism.
The magazines she reads compares her to 16-year old models made up, lit and airbrushed to perfection. In their shadow her mind reinforces the illusion of inferiority.
Rejection is everywhere when she strives for her dreams.
The guy she dated twice never called back.
She doesn’t drive the $65,000 cars advertised on television.
The voice asks: what is wrong with you?
There is nothing wrong with her beyond an illusion.
What exactly is the criticism from both inside and outside her head based upon?
And how often is judgment shown to be categorically wrong? Lots of times!
Alexander Sinclair of RSO Records sent a rejection letter to U2 in May of 1979 stating he’d listened to a tape sent in by the band but felt it was “unsuitable” for the label at that time.
But how do we get beyond judgment? How do we get beyond defining ourselves by the metrics of how we look, how many likes we get on Facebook, our grades in school, our bank account, the house we live in, where we vacation, our performance review at work and on and on?
I say it’s by connecting with the light inside you.
I call this “your inner magnificence”.
This is the light we see in the eyes of babies.
It’s the light we feel when we’re in love.
It’s the light we see in the face of nature.
The light lives within you.
When you rediscover this light and when you tend to it daily like a garden you begin living from this feeling.
Outcome begins to mean less and less.
With it, judgment is easier to release.
With it, criticism doesn’t sting as much as it did before.
Your light is more powerful than the darkest criticism - even if the critic is you.
When I am criticized, I still sometimes get small and go inside my turtle shell. I realize now it’s just activating old beliefs about not being good enough.
I know that as I feed the flame of self-worth each morning in meditation the inner magnificence will continue to rise while the illusion of not good enough will wither and die on the vine.
Namaste (the spirit in me bows to the spirit in you)
I have a free affirmation video for you called:
Releasing the Critical Voice