top of page

Why Nobody Gives You Love

Sometimes it feels there is no love anywhere.

With a difficult breakup. When you’re feeling depressed and alone. Looking at social media seeing others (seemingly) having exactly what you want.

Nobody gives you love.

They cannot...

I know. This is a provocative statement.

It goes against everything you’ve been taught. It goes against much of what you’ve felt and experienced.

But it’s true…

It’s also empowering…

When a person wins the lottery, the almost cartoonish display of happiness isn’t created by the slip of paper, the ticket with the winning numbers. The paper by itself cannot create happiness. It’s just paper with numbers on it.

What’s happening is that the ticket meets a pre-programmed condition in the mind – I’m going to be a millionaire – that triggers or “allows” the person to release the happiness already inside.

Winning the lottery

Falling in love

Buying a new car

Receiving a beautiful gift


The rest of the time, we dutifully go about our lives like an addict looking for the next hit of happiness - the next hit of love.

Over the past few months, I ‘ve worked with three clients who’ve come to me feeling broken. Their partners had either left them or were threatening to leave them.

They felt like they had nothing.

They were about to lose everything dear.

It felt to them that love was slipping from their grasp.

I know, I’ve felt it myself.

It’s horrible.

The more you feel the person slipping away the more you panic as if the air in the room is vanishing and you will soon suffocate as love evaporates.

None of it is true. It’s an illusion. The love is already inside you.

Your beloved reminds you and activates the love already inside.

This means that when your crush doesn’t reciprocate your affections and your husband leaves they cannot take love from you. They never gave it to you in the first place.

I’m not advocating a life of asceticism or becoming a hermit.

I am advocating a daily practice that re-connects you to the love that is already inside.

bottom of page