Break Free from Past Lover Obsession

In this post, learn why the fixation on a past lover happens and discover practical tools and techniques to free your mind from intrusive thoughts.

Why It Happens

1.   Unresolved Emotions

Grief or Loss: Mourning the end of a relationship can feel like mourning a death, especially if the breakup was sudden or the bond was deep.

Regret or Guilt: Repetitive "what-ifs" or blaming yourself for the breakup can create destructive thought loops.

Anger or Betrayal: Intense emotions, like anger, often linger as a form of protection against the pain of loss.

2.   Trauma

If the relationship involved abuse, it probably left behind trauma. Your subconscious might perceive danger even when you're safe. Nightmares or intrusive thoughts are common as the brain struggles to process the pain.

3.   Attachment

Emotional bonds don't vanish overnight. A strong or unhealthy attachment can make moving on feel impossible.

4.   Lack of Closure

An abrupt or unresolved breakup leaves unanswered questions. The mind often replays scenarios to find meaning. Finding ways to inform your subconscious that you’re safe can help it let go.

5. Spiritual

Spiritual vows, like the traditional wedding vows generally involve an expiration of the vow: "til death do us part". If you are divorced but the spiritual vow is still in place, it can create an inner lack of alignment and a sense things are not finished.

How to Move Forward

1.   Traditional Approaches

Therapy: A professional can help you process emotions, identify coping mechanisms, and find clarity. This is the best first step for serious psychological concerns.

Journaling: Writing down your thoughts externalizes them, reducing the mental burden and helping you process with greater clarity.

Mindfulness Practices: Meditation, deep breathing, or Qi Gong can calm your nervous system and reduce intrusive thoughts.

Social Support: Sharing your feelings with trusted friends, family, or support groups reminds you that you're not alone.

2.   Advanced Therapeutic Techniques

Hypnosis: Access the subconscious to actually heal your unresolved emotions. In my work this includes the spiritual realm and unwinding bonds and contracts from the past. Hypnotherapy reframes thoughts and shifts the subconscious mind from feeling unsafe to safe.

Havening Technique: This tapping-based method helps the brain reprocess painful memories. It neutralizes trauma thus reducing the intensity of recurring thoughts.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): This therapy uses guided eye movements to desensitize traumatic memories and build healthier associations.

3.   Lifestyle Changes

Physical Activity: Exercise boosts endorphins, improving mood and reducing stress.

Personal Growth: Redirect energy into new goals, hobbies, or skills to foster positive change.

Healthy Routine: A consistent sleep, diet, and relaxation routine stabilizes your emotional state and brings more balance.

A Holistic Approach

Breaking free from the emotional grip of a past relationship is possible with the right tools and effort. Advanced techniques like hypnosis and Havening can break the logjam so you can be free.

I've been helping clients with this work since 2006.

If you’d like a consultation, please visit my website: www.blueskhypnosis.com

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