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Your Relationship is an Artifact of the Past

Relationships are complex, beautiful, and sometimes challenging aspects of our lives. They reflect our past experiences, shaping how we perceive ourselves and how we interact with others in the crucial moments of emotional triggering.

Couple holding hands

In this blog post, we will explore the impact of past traumas, particularly those related to abandonment, on our present relationships. We'll also discuss the importance of self-love, healing, and boundaries in building healthy, fulfilling relationships.

The Residue of Abandonment

Have you ever wondered why certain patterns persist in your relationships? The answers are found in your past experiences. Traumas like abandonment, divorce, infidelity, violence, or addiction within your family can leave deep emotional scars.

Your subconscious mind has no conception of time. Therefore, to heal these old wounds, one must make the change in this deeper part of your mind. This is why hypnosis and other key tools that influence the subconscious can be such a perfect tool to make these changes.

If you've been physically or emotionally abandoned by a principal caregiver early in life, it often leads to feelings of unworthiness, insecurity, and fear of being left behind again. These unresolved emotions most certainly can negatively affect your present relationships.

Abandonment and Its Impact

The fear of abandonment can become a recurring theme in your life, influencing the partners you choose and the dynamics in your relationships. If you struggle with feelings of low self-esteem and believe that you're unlovable due to past experiences, it's essential to address these wounds before they manifest in your present relationships. Understanding the origins of these feelings can help you break free from this pernicious cycle.

Modeling Relationships

Children learn about relationships by observing their parents or caregivers. If you witnessed your parents' divorce, infidelity, or ongoing conflicts, it can influence your beliefs about love, trust, and commitment. Children need to feel that their parents are stable and reliable, as this provides a sense of security. If this stability is absent, it can lead to doubts about the longevity and reliability of your own relationships.

The Healing Journey

Healing from past traumas is not easy, but it's necessary to foster healthier relationships. Recognizing the sources of your emotional wounds and seeking therapy or support can help you address these issues. Forgiveness, both of yourself and those who may have caused your pain, is a crucial part of this powerful healing process.

Learning to Love Yourself

Before you can truly love another person, you must love yourself. Self-love is not about arrogance or narcissism but a deep acceptance and appreciation of your worthiness. This means acknowledging your value, understanding your strengths and weaknesses, and learning to set healthy boundaries.

Unconditional Love

Learning to love all aspects of your partner, including their flaws, can help you build a strong, lasting connection. Unconditional love is a massive challenge for us as humans but it means working towards accepting your partner fully. It means loving them for who they are, not who you hope they will become.

Boundaries in Relationships

Healthy boundaries are essential in any relationship. While the ultimate ideal of love is unconditional, relationships must have limits. Setting and maintaining boundaries is a way to protect your emotional well-being and ensure that you are not taken advantage of. It is crucial to understand where your boundaries lie and communicate them to your partner.


Healing and growth are pivotal in forging healthy, lasting relationships. Here are three crucial points to consider on your journey to healing and building fulfilling connections:

1. Cleaning Up Your Side of the Street: While you cannot control the actions or behaviors of your partner, you can take responsibility for your own healing and personal growth. Ask yourself, "What do I need to do to clean up my side of the street?" By addressing your past traumas, insecurities, and self-esteem, you can take positive steps toward building healthier relationships.

2. Embracing Unconditional Love: It's essential to evaluate whether you're loving all of your partner or just parts of them. Unconditional love means accepting and cherishing every facet of your partner, even their imperfections. By practicing unconditional love for yourself and for your partner, you can foster a deeper, more meaningful connection.

3. Defining What You Truly Want: Finally, it's crucial to introspect and ask yourself, "What do I want in this relationship?" Consider whether you genuinely desire to be in this relationship as it is today or if you're holding onto the hope that the other person will change. Avoid the weak stance of saying, "I will be happy if and when they change." Instead, assess your love for the other person and your willingness to commit or recommit to the relationship based on your authentic desires and needs.

Remember that your healing journey may take time, but it's a powerful step toward creating relationships built on trust, respect, and unconditional love. By utilizing hypnosis and addressing your past, nurturing self-love, setting healthy boundaries, and committing to your personal growth, you can build strong, lasting connections that bring happiness and fulfillment to your life.


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